I’m giving up online dating forever. Again.
(I think this is the third time?)
Straight up, I don’t want to tell this story, it’s embarassing, but my friend said I should share, so….
He’s from Match. I thought to myself, well, you have to pay for this site, there’s got to be a certain quality about that, more depth than the free apps Tinder and Bumble, less full of fuckboys, at least in theory.
And it seemed that way. Started chatting with a guy who was 45. A little out of my ideal age range, but not a total deal breaker, besides, he was spewing nonsense about meditation and quantum physics and self-actualization, so I figured, well, he’s like-minded, he’s got a nice body, what the heck.
We had a nice hour-long conversation on the phone where we talked about the Universe and the meaning of life and how hard it is to find someone who sees the world in the same way. How life is about learning lessons and until you’ve learned those lessons they keep showing up in your life. How nice it would be to find a person with whom we could share healthy communication and continuous growth, preferably in the same direction.
We agreed to meet at the local farmer’s market because I needed some fresh produce and a break from the typical let’s-meet-over-a-beer date. I’m operating under the theory that sober intuition is more reliable.
So we met, and, as with most online dates, I noticed he looked like his pics but was somewhat disappointing in real life. This is just the nature of online dating, in case you’ve never tried it. There’s no judging chemistry until you’re face-to-face, besides, angles and filters can hide double chins, beer bellies, and sucky personalities.
But what the hell, I decided to be open, because this should be some good conversation.
Over the perusing of produce, I talked about my day, about the new car I just bought, my day at the beach. We turned the corner to walk down the other side of the street, when he pulled out his phone.
“I have to take this call,” he said. “I’ll catch up to you.”
Bruh.Oldest mother effing trick in the book.
I knew he wasn’t going to catch up to me. I knew, walking there at the farmer’s market in one of my favorite rompers and flip-flops, that I’d been rejected.
By a guy I wouldn’t date, anyway.
There’s really no way to NOT take that personal, douchebag, but thanks for sparing me?
I strolled the market, bought my produce, then went to Sunset Cliffs to enjoy the sunset. I mulled over whether or not to send him some sort of text on what a douchey move that was. On whether this meant I’m showing an excess of beer-drinking, going to be single forever, or am just plain ugly. If I hadn’t called a friend laughed it off, I would’ve been talking myself off a ledge. Instead we agreed that he has issues. The easiest explanation, really, or at least the one that makes me feel the best about myself.
I blocked his number (just in case he was quick with the reply), then sent him a text: Zero class. You give what you get. Something to consider.
Because seriously, this guy was literally telling me the day before that he doesn’t understand why he can’t find a girl who’s on his level.In my mind, he revealed his level. He wants open, honest, healthy communication in a relationship, but fails to give it. Which is probably why he can’t find a girl with whom to create the deep connection he desires.
Listen, we’re now all just going to judge the shit out of him and blame this entire thing on him, because it helps me feel better about the whole thing, okay?
I went to breakfast with a friend this morning at my favorite little spot on The Cliffs. We sat outside and sipped coffee, and as were finishing eating, two guys came and sat next to us and struck up a conversation full of puns, jokes, and the kind of laughter that’s amazing because it’s sober and so, so real.
They invited us to a house-warming Saturday night.
Way better than the anticipation of the online thing, because we already know it will be fun.
So. I shall date online no more, forever.
I’m going to trust God and Real Life from here on out and see where that gets me…
thecrazyoflove 