Surfer boy and I have been having a good old time. We spent Halloween together. I met more of his friends. One girl, a sweet, beautiful blonde, told me he’s a nice guy. She’s known him since 2007, and I’m the first girl she’s ever met. Not a player. We spent the next day together, a big deal for us since when I sleep over I always leave at 4 a.m. He had asked me if I would stay and hang out. We went to the beach. He surfed, I watched. We went to breakfast, then went back to his house and watched football.
Hung out a few times the next week, then Friday rolled around. His mom and step dad were in town, so I didn’t plan on seeing him for a few days. Except he texted me and said he’d come watch the sunset with me. And then he mentioned that his mom and step dad wanted us to go to the Garth Brooks concert with them.
So they knew about me…
So I met his mom and step dad, then we came back to my house, and he had The Talk with me. It was something I had wondered about, the fact that we were in the gray area, but I wasn’t going to bring it up. He brought it up. The fact that he has feelings for me and doesn’t want us to be seeing other people. The fact that I was “a tough nut to crack” and he didn’t know how I felt about him. So I told him. And then he went to the bathroom and then I looked at my phone and his psycho ex had messaged me, saying they were still talking.
I confronted him, he said she was psycho. Which, I realize is something any guy would say. But in that moment, I knew he was telling the truth. I heard it in the way his voice cracked as he told me how much she stalks him, how she threatens to kill herself. How he doesn’t know what to do. And in my gut, I felt it was the truth.
The next morning, he cooked me breakfast, then hugged me and said he was so glad we’d had that talk because he really likes me.
Three days later, I was single again. He called me and told me some bad news, some stuff the psycho ex was holding over his head. He had to cool it with me for a week or so while he placated her so she’d deal with the stuff and he could be rid of her. It was his worst nightmare, he said, but he had to do whatever he could to not upset her.
I was understanding. I talked him through it. He was appreciative. I was emotional, but I knew he needed my support, not more stress. I spent a couple of days crying, and that’s when I knew that I loved him. And hated her. Like this psycho bitch has some sort of radar. OH! She met the parents, they’re official, let me swoop in and fuck this up for them.
I was dealing with things until he called me and told me he had to delete me from social media because he didn’t want her to freak out. He needed her to be calm until this was all over. I said, “okay, thanks for letting me know.” and then I hung up. And then I sent him a text that said, “feel free to delete my number, too. Obviously you’re choosing her over me. Fuck you. I was willing to be vulnerable with you. I’m sorry I trusted you.”
I didn’t mean it, but I was so hurt in the moment I couldn’t think straight.
I have no since heard from him, and that was 2 days ago. Today is the day it’s all supposed to be over. After today, he should be able to contact me again.
Either he will or he won’t, and I’ve made my peace with that. I miss him. I cry about it. I have fantasies of how he’ll come back to me, how maybe I’ll be on the pier for sunset and he’ll show up because he wants to talk to me. Or wait outside my house in the morning for me to go on my run. Or flowers at work. Or a simple text telling me he misses me. Loves me. Some great romantic gesture.
So far, nothing. And i understand at this point.
And I worry, but I don’t. Because above all, I know that nothing real can be threatened. If he is mine, he will come back to me. He will fight for me, and that crazy bitch will go away.
And in the meantime, I’m sad, but in the end, I’m still me. Happy. Living life. Trusting in God’s plan for me.
Because God is true love, and in the end, true love always wins.
thecrazyoflove 