All the other boys have fallen by the wayside. I didn’t mean for that to happen. In fact, as I’m sitting here, I’m thinking that maybe I need to go on another date with someone I like…just to not get caught up.
I’m in a scary spot.
I am officially in like with surfer boy.
I realized it sometime this weekend. Somewhere along the way, we began to hang out more. Like 4 times a week…and with my schedule, that’s a lot. More than I hang with anyone.
We went to the game last week (amazing time). I went over to hang one night. He spent most of the weekend here. And it was sometime Sunday night, laying in his arms, that I realize I like him. Like I’d actually commit to him.
I went for a run in the morning, and when I came back, he pulled me into his arms and said he wished we could spend the day together. Went over to his house last night for dinner.
It’s that weird stage between vulnerability and fear. Parts of me want to open up to him, parts of me want to run away and take a stand against feelings. Because I remember what happens when it doesn’t work out.
And how sad that I automatically assume it won’t.
And then I think…what’s the big deal? There’s no harm in feelings…in theory. But then they grow and who knows and guess I’m supposed to have faith.
But he still hasn’t met any of my friends; he was supposed to come over tonight for dinner with friends but he has a prior commitment.
I’m not sure what’s happening. I’m not sure how I feel. I’m trying to go with the flow. Sometimes I freak out, sometimes it’s all good.
At the end of the day, I guess the only thing is that I like him. He likes me…and that’s all that maters…in theory.
thecrazyoflove 